03
Jun
10

Emo

OK. So the post is not about the skinny, lifeless, dull and self-loathing pathetic excuses for a breed of teens. Anyone reading the post in search of sympathy for being one can stop right here and click on the “BACK” button on your browser, or the red X on the screen’s top-right or whatever..who cares. This post is about emotions, real ones, that has impacted generations and the decisions made on its account.

The other night, we had a tragedy here in Pune. A friend and an old roomie passed away. He was only 40. Too young to die, of a brain haemorrhage. He had a history of High blood pressure, and surely a lot of stress. But still, 40 is too young to go. He had the stroke while in his office, and never recovered. He was admitted in the ICU, but slowly his organs failed him, and had to be put on Life Support, living off a machine. After 3 days, he was declared dead. It was tragic. He had a family whom he supported back home. God bless his family.

The night we stayed in the hospital, we had a discussion, about the juvenility (Not sure if that is a word) of our race. I would love to give the credit to a friend, but I hate mentioning names.

Let’s get straight to the point. We lack the Emotional maturity of our peers. We, as Mizo’s, are not entirely ready to face the corporate world, because we are too short-tempered, figuratively speaking. We make decisions too easily when we are overwhelmed with any emotion, from happiness to sadness, from fear to anger, from love to hate. We do things we easily regret later on, and regret we do.

I’ve laughed and made fun of the usual routine of cab-drivers in Kolkata, screaming their heads off with faces barely an inch apart. I used to think that they are too chicken to fight, to be the one to throw the first punch. That, it may be, but on the other hand, that is how civilization functions. You don’t see managers negotiating with fists, the pen has become mightier than the sword, much more so than what the author of the saying would’ve anticipated then.

Yet from our perspective, that is a waste of time. We are eager and easily coerced to get physical if we are taunted. Funny incident was when I watched a BasketBall match while at home. It was between Tuikhuahtlang and Champhai for the YMA Touney. The latter being the “outsiders”, the crowd was mostly Pro-Tuikhuahtlang. There was Jersey no.11 (I think, one of the twins) who practically won the match for Champhai, and in the last few minutes of the 4th Quarter, I could hear determined yet disgruntled comments from behind me saying “After the match, we kick no.11’s ass!” (Loosely translated from: Match zawhah no.11 khi kan hnek dawn nia!)

When things don’t go our way, we quickly get agitated without making an effort to conceal. And when that happens, we start to think with our hearts and not with our heads. We become blind to the consequence and can only see what’s in front of us. That is when we become Emotionally High which blurs our inner-vision and logical-reasoning. If we are denied something which we truly wanted and deserved, we mutter “F..K it! Let it be! What the F..K do I care.. blah blah..” and storm out without looking back. Although at that point, even though we may have felt justified, to others, we give the impression of being juvenile, vain and completely hot-headed, damaging our image permanently.

On the other hand, a more mature person would keep his cool, concealing his anger and possibly pass a snide, but not-overly obvious remark about his disappointment, congratulate the “other” guy and go for a coffee break with the same individuals who had just turned him down. Even though it may have been a transparently unfair decision, he emerges as being the bigger individual.

And it’s not just anger. Let’s talk about love. I bet our state has the maximum number of teen pregnancies, not to mention teen-marriages. Calculating the ratio of the number of pregnant/married teens to the teen-population of each state, ours would be right up there. I’m not saying that it’s wrong for teens to get married, but that teen-hood is the era in everyone’s life when one is most emotionally vulnerable, and it is easy to mistake feelings when you suddenly start experiencing so many which you haven’t felt before. And making decisions while on that love-high may not be the best decision ever made, and that is something you’ve gotta live with.

Childhood was simple, everything was black and white, no gray areas, you either felt it or you didn’t. You like something, or you didn’t, but as one gets older, the fuzzy logic creeps in, complicating everything.

Love is as strong and intense as anger itself. It has driven and still drives the young and old alike, to commit suicide. While being high on the Love drug, decisions made can be sloppy and improperly thought out. And under its influence, it is easy to make decisions without looking further beyond.

In a recent movie I watched, the playboy Dad tells his daughter “You can’t learn from my mistakes. You’ve gotta make them on your own.” I guess that pretty much sums it up. Unless we make mistakes, we don’t seem to learn. We are a practical breed of north-easterns, we like gettin’ down and dirty, we like a hands-on approach and don’t mind getting physical. We will make mistakes and we will need to learn from them, sooner or later.


13 Responses to “Emo”


  1. 1 ruolngulworld
    June 4, 2010 at 12:25 pm

    my condolences on your friend’s passing. on the ’emo’ thing, i sometimes wonder whether its a racial thing – the ‘mongoloid’ types being more short-tempered and all. the japanese, for example, are probably the most polite and well-mannered people but i’ve read of quite a few incidents of violence resulting from sudden/uncontrollable rage. but then when i think of how this sort of thing happens in all societies, irrespective of race, i think it also relates to culture and civilisation – societies with longer histories/culture/civilisation (incl cab-drivers of kolkata?) generally react in a more mature (read less violent) way?……….

  2. June 4, 2010 at 1:35 pm

    Reading the title I’d thought you had a quarter-life crisis and were trying to discover yourself through suffering and pain and had resorted to wearing ultra tight jeans and eye makeup. Glad to know you are anti all that.
    So sorry about your friend. I can’t help thinking of the family he supported back home. What will happen to them now?

  3. 3 Shuakshuali
    June 4, 2010 at 6:37 pm

    I once witnessed a petty thief being caught and beaten up by a lot of moralistic good-for-nothings. Then there are the SRS, YMA, VDP and the like, where, among the few good men in the organization, are a bunch of louts who take pleasure in beating the ‘bad guys’ up. Then there are the rival ‘gangs’ that seem to have cropped up again in recent years.I thought that sort of thing went out during the 80’s. Sometimes I wish that we’d have fight clubs and more sports club, places where people with nothing to do would find a way to vent their frustrations..
    A lot of stuffs to ruminate over in your post but this comment is getting long enough already..

  4. June 5, 2010 at 6:28 pm

    Topic i cover nasa lutuk a han comment dan tur ber pawh ka hrelo😀
    Emo,Teen Pregnancies,The passing away of a friend (RIP), Basketball khelh laia intihbuai etc etc.
    Mob mentality lam ni dawn maw ka tia mahse ni bawk silova. Comment loving ka kal leh mai ange😀

  5. June 5, 2010 at 6:28 pm

    uh comment “lovin”.

  6. 6 NotGood
    June 7, 2010 at 2:46 am

    @Ruolngul: I guess it’s true that “societies with longer histories/culture/civilisation (incl cab-drivers of kolkata?) generally react in a more mature manner..” and about the Japanese, No offense Intended, but I think they have the worst cases of undocumented atrocities during the World Wars, almost comparable to that of the Third Reich.

    @Aduhi: Well, the company he was working with had Medical Insurance which covered his Medical Bills and Life Insurance for their employees which would be a few lakhs. Even though that’s a little comfort, it’s comfort nonetheless. Not that I knew his family personally, but I wish them the best.

    @Shuali: True. We have a lot of “Moral Policing” back home, and the worst part is that they don’t have the will to confront the real sources. They have little integrity which makes them as bad as the people they are trying to police.

    @Mos: I know I do that sometimes.. When I write a post, my mind wanders in so many different directions, the incidents which may or (mostly) may not be related to each other. But thanks for leaving a comment without commenting..😀

  7. June 7, 2010 at 11:39 am

    heh… Mosa. Comment loving. Old habits die hard.

    Sorry to hear about your friend. RIP.

    And regarding your post, yup, this is the main problem most Mizos face in the corporate world. We are too hot blooded and short tempered to succeed. Rising up the corporate ladder requires taking a lot of shit. Its not the Govt sector where everything is based on seniority, whether you perform well or not. Its like that famous picture of a Corporate structure, with the head honcho bird sitting on top. That bird shits on the two birds below, who in turn shit on their juniors, and so on. The bird at the bottom gets the most shit, and the only way of not taking any shit, is to rise to the top. Most Mizos are not mentally prepared to face this, especially about taking shit from a vai. We really need to change this juvenile mentality of ours if we want to succeed and build a secure future for our children.

  8. 8 The C Man
    June 9, 2010 at 10:19 pm

    I like turtles

  9. June 12, 2010 at 4:17 pm

    Your ranting out sounds like a coming-of-age statement from one who had seen and learned quite a bit. Yup, i used to laugh at the auto/taxi drivers shouting at top of their lungs pointing hands, but during my 10 year tenure in S.India, I have seen only one actual fight in Vellore and a single slug in Bangalore. Now, attitude is everything.

  10. June 12, 2010 at 4:18 pm

    “Pointing hands”…guess that’s correct, if you had been to South India you would understand🙂

  11. 11 NotGood
    June 14, 2010 at 11:20 pm

    @Kim: Practically the first time you’ve agreed to my post.. I think.. and yes, I remember that cartoon very well. I like the emphasis Corporates lay on integrity, and I think that is one thing we lack back home. Any ethical faux pas is dealt with severely, and there is hardly a 2nd chance. That’s the kind of environ I enjoy working in.

    @Semen: You’re just spamming.

    @Opa: Thanks, as I’ve posted earlier on my fb status, growing up is not something that happens as you get older, it’s a choice you’ve got to make. And I definitely understand “Pointing hands”, more like pointing with all your fingers so that none points back at you.. hehe..

  12. 12 jerusha
    June 16, 2010 at 8:38 pm

    I’m impressed with your insight. I’m one of the immature ones whose emotions get the better of me time and time again. It’s easier to learn with love because hurt is involved, anger is always the tricky part for me😦

  13. 13 NotGood
    June 22, 2010 at 4:36 am

    @Jerusha: We all need to learn to control our emotions than rather let it control us, and sure, that’s so friggin’ easier said than done..😛 If we’re lucky, maybe a few more Mizo generations down the line and we MAY evolve into individuals who speak more and do less, or should that be the other way round?? hehe..


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