Confused and lost (Random Posts III)

– Lately I’ve been confused.. thats about it.

– I like Homer, how he hates his job, his boss, how he wants to be a better person, become more successful, try his hand at other fields which always backfires. Little does he know that he always has Marge to back him up, even when he’s stuck in the deepest and darkest of pits. I guess it teaches us that even though we may not always have the best of everything, things can always be worse off. 😛 As long as you have someone who love you,  you are better off than a lot of people.

– My dreams are my reality, my nightmares, my perception.

– If everyone lives a noose around their necks, would you pull yours or others’ first?

– I wonder if life was as colorless back then as it was in movies and photographs? cos’ I can’t remember how it was, can’t picture what color they would be when I look at them now.

– Can’t wait to get back home for holidays, to the quietness of the hills, to the peaceful life, slow and serene. Sometimes the city noise drowns my thoughts, clouds my vision and shows me only what I want to see, what I want to hear, what I want to feel. It makes me numb to the rest of the world and only see where I want to go. I need a break from the madness that has become me.

– Maybe the reason sports is so attractive is because theres only winners and losers, no consolation prizes, no sympathy for the fallen, only glory for the victor.

– If I’d said the things I’d left unsaid, and did the things I’d left undone….

– Everyone wears tattoos, not necessarily on their skin. A badge, an insignia, an affiliation to a group they feel safe behind, a club, a gang.. an endless list of insecurities.

– I’ve heard that the Earth has all the time in the world, but we humans don’t. We may destroy each other, cause WWIII and global warming, deplete the natural resources, hasten 2012 and make scarce everything left alive. But life is IN the planet, and it will generate another specie, whether they be humans or otherwise, who will start anew the whole process all over again. And cockroaches? they’d probably still survive!

– If math is the universal language, music would be the universal truth!

– Sometimes love requires more patience than passion, more misunderstandings than agreements, more pains than pleasures, more tears than laughters, but in the end, love is the only thing that matters.

– I thought I’d make a happy “last one before going home” post, but something I saw this morning totally changed my mood. I stepped out to take a breath of the fresh, chilly december morning air when I saw this little girl carrying a plastic bag where neighbours had poured their left-over dal from the night before, following her mother door-to-door, collecting rice and chapatis, collecting their meal for the day. When I saw how happily the girl tagged along her mother, my heart held back a tear. I haven’t seen anything so heart-wrenching in a long time, and it made me feel human again. I’ve so many things to add to my list of “Sights that make me wanna tear my heart out”, but this would be one of the top in the list.

– I realized how selfish I’ve become, thinking about what I’d do when I get back home, hoping to make the most of my 2 week holiday. I had planned not to let anything in my way  to spending a fun-filled vacation, a “long deserved break”, or so I’d convinced myself. Lately my life has always been about me, and that is all the pronoun I remember. I’ve been on my own for so long that I’ve forgotten how to trust anyone else but myself. I live by the words “If you wanna get something done, do it yourself”. Sometimes it’s easier that way, cos’ if something goes wrong, I’ve only myself to blame, and I can live with that.

-In the big city, we get lost in our own world, our worries and troubles, our joys and happiness, forgetting the pain and suffering that surrounds us. We are just so busy with our lives, trying to achieve so much, but forgetting how to enjoy the simple moments that life provides. We do everything for a reason, a reason that requires more doing, which is done for a reason, a vicious circle indeed, but sometimes we need to do other things for no reason at all, to break free, to feel alive again.

-With all the technology in the world and we still can’t get rid of poverty. The rich-poor divide widens more and more each day, and no one has the time to care, to spare a brief moment to stop and stare. We let the flow of life take us where it does, and we are happy cos’ we become a part of something, well, that is just what we become.. a “part” of something. We don’t need to travel the world to see this divide, it’s right outside everyone’s doorstep, its real too, yet we chose to ignore it.

-We choose our leaders and fear their rule, isn’t democracy supposed to be the other way round? On their high horse they embrace all things good with one hand, while they shake the hand of evil with the other. If these are the leaders we so chose, I fear for the people who chose them….. lets not get into politics now..

-Sometimes I feel suffocate figuring out answers to questions like.. are we making the best of ourselves? Are we making any difference to make the world a better place? Does “Random acts of kindness” really work? How do I help the helpless, give food to the needy, cos’ praying for them hasn’t changed much really? Is it right to worry about my future when there are millions who have none? If Christmas is the season to give, why do we get so much more? Am I a good person if I look the other way when beggars approach? Is it so hard to be religious and be a good citizen at the same time?

– Having said all that, I know that this year end will roll away once again, and I will spend my holidays like every other year, caring but not making any effort to bring happiness to others, but rather scavenging it for my own self, looking on a new year filled with hope at first, but being bogged down so much by things to do and things that need to be done, that it would soon be over again too early. The whole year will be spent, once again, pursuing happiness, but at the end of the year, realizing that I had brought myself no more, if not none, closer to my goal, and yet life will go on..

– Happy holidays to the handful who frequent this space, sorry if I’d bummed you out by the end. Peace!


7 Responses to “Confused and lost (Random Posts III)”

  1. December 20, 2009 at 1:31 am

    …find a place, make your stand – the eagles.

    have a good trip!

  2. 2 ruolngulworld
    December 27, 2009 at 5:44 pm

    methinks you think too much, which is why you are confused and lost. but then, how can you not think, or not be influenced by what’s around you – because that’s what we are programmed to do, in a way. its a bummer, aint it?
    hope you had a good christmas. happy new year.

  3. December 31, 2009 at 9:13 pm

    Insightful ramblings. Note them down, work on it, and publish a novel one of these days. Have a happy new year.

  4. 4 gkhiangte
    January 7, 2010 at 4:03 pm

    still a fan ;)Happy New Year!! Bro..

  5. 5 NotGood
    January 9, 2010 at 7:39 pm

    Happy new year y’all!

    @Baruk: Had a short yet fulfilling Christmas and New Year! Thanks for the Wishes, hope you had a great time too.

    @Ruolngul: Quite a theory you have there. 😛 Usually these random thought are concocted on a lazy evening when I have free time and nothing in particular on my mind. I simply take my keyboard and type whatever comes to mind, hence, random thoughts!

    @Kima: Thanks for the support, but I think, even with the handful of visitors to this space, I still think I’d get more readers continuing with the blog rather than publishing a book. 😛 Hope u had a good Mumbai-New Year too!

    @G: Hey, hope u had a great time back home too. Whats wrong with your blog? Its blocked or somethin? Update some!

  6. 6 ku2
    February 8, 2010 at 9:42 pm

    hi… i like ur truths… n wish i could write as well..but its not really how u frame the words, rite? without the thought to back it up the words r meaningless..i think i could be a fan… keep writing n i”ll try to keep up

  7. 7 NotGood
    February 9, 2010 at 9:50 pm

    @Ku: Thanks for being a potential fan, and welcome to my twisted virtual existence, or blog. You’re right, it really does not matter how the words are framed, just let it flow. Keep coming back.

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