I’ve been growing my hair for the past few months now, just to change my look, save the salon money for beer, and mainly to cover the male pattern baldness that has developed over the years. I’ve tried a close crop of the hair, but the bald patches stand out like a drunk Mika in the middle of a rap battle, not that I have anything against colorful people, I just think they’re.. queer! hehe.. So, longer locks it is!
One thing I’ve noticed is that the longer a guys hair grows, the more bothered he is with it, although he may not act like it. You don’t see short-haired guys spending more than a brief moment in front of the mirror, mostly to check if there’s any stands peeking from the nostrils or ears or wherever visible.
For longer haired beings, the mirror slowly becomes our best friend. We make fun of girls taking time in front of the mirror, but I dare you, guy, grow yours long and let me know if you spend less than a minute each day in front of the mirror. Sure, long-haired guys may be a bit out of the ordinary, fascinating at first, but there’s nothing worse than a guy with long, unkempt, filthy hair.. of course, dreadlocks are an exception, at least one has to put some effort into it.
Wherever you go, you start noticing mirrors where you’ve never even seen one before. And you just have to admire your reflection, making a few adjustments here and some there. Sure, you’re probably starting to finally get in touch with your feminine side, but girls dig that, right? Or is that so yesterday? Sometimes being a bit geeky has its disadvantages….. oh well. Here’s what I think:
From the graph, one can clearly see that Girls spend as much time grooming behind closed doors, no matter how long or short their hair may be. They may be as bald as a friggin’ chihuahua, but they would spend exactly the same time as they would if they had hair the length which would put Rapunzel to shame.
On the other hand, the longer a guys hair, the more time he would spend combing, brushing and applying thick measures of cream and what not. You’d be surprised how much a guy would be willing to spend on hair products, but thats another graph altogether. 😛
You can see that the graph for guys increases almost exponentially by the end. This would mean that for every cm of hair growth, guys will spend twice as much time grooming. This phenomenon is the saturation point. Beyond this point, a guy would either spend endless amounts of time in front of the mirror, or simply go berserk, which is clearly evident from some Hindu Sadhus and Death Metal bands. Guys can’t simply handle long hair. Period. R-E-S-P-E-C-T to girls.
At one point, both the lines intersect, and the Guys actually surpass the Girls in “Time Spent Grooming”. Now this is the point where you would want to throw down your brushes, smash your hair products and get a hair cut. Because beyond this point, you’re slowly making your transition from the XX to XY chromosome (Wait.. I think it’s the other way round, I’m no Bio student, but Google makes me so.) And that’s not cool.
This is the 2nd time in my whole life I’ve grown my hair beyond the normal GUY-length, the earlier time was a disaster, as some of my acquaintances would attest fervently to. But this time, away from their ridicule and advice, I will unfurl my locks on Christmas and that will be worth blogging. Until then, grow, hair, grow your friggin’ roots off (But please don’t fall)!

7 Responses to “hair”

  1. December 4, 2009 at 7:05 pm

    a nice Hairy Tale,,, okay online blogger amigo.. allow me to share my story… i’ve been growing the hair on my head long ..since 2006.. and i mean facial hair too.. aiming for the ZakkWylde look (only i cant play guitar as well as he does).. so i’ll honestly say for my case i really dont care about the hair. I just ‘let it grow’.

    Well, okay i use shampoo and thats it. no extra effort taken.. and yes occassionaly ‘trimming’ of the moustache + beard so i dont look like Osama’s distant relative.. 😀

    Anyways during the ‘early stages’ there was a point when my hair was not really “tie-able” {a lakloh lai ti mai ang}….and it really looked hilarious when i let it be..solution: i wore a cap..almost everywhere i went… Anyways …judging from this long comment of mine.. it shows i really do care about my LONG hair..however dull and dry it is..

    Godspeed with your hair progress… 🙂

  2. December 5, 2009 at 12:45 pm

    oho looks like I’ve stumbled in at a long-haired-men conference. Having aired my opinions on the length of hair of people with the XY chromosome, I will not say anymore.
    Impressive graph up there, so when the two lines intersect, is that the point where many of our young men turn into women (or wished they did)? I think that at a certain point in their lives every man wants to have long hair (to see how it looks on them, to know how it feels to have hair brushing their shoulders).
    And will we get to see your picture when you “unfurl your locks” on Christmas?

  3. 3 gkhiangte
    December 7, 2009 at 9:29 pm

    [laughs out pretty hard]
    first of all, you have managed to turn a mundane act to an exciting read that too with a graphical representation.
    secondly, with all due respect, why do you want to grow your hair? Dont you know bald is in? [laughs] I can tell you with all honesty that you may not like the outcome. more often than not, guys think they look cool with long hair but never realise that it is applicable only to a few. i have seen a lot of Mizo guys who grow their hair without an inch of improvement on their looks. they look better with the short clean cuts any time. long hair, on the other hand, looks macho on some rare breed of men. for our tribe, I belive the short cropped hair suits and looks good on every guy including you. dont worry about the increasing reduction of hair on your head, which is natural. worry more about the reaction that you are going to get with the tarzanesque hair growth on your head. Or if you say “Frankly my dear I dont give a damn”, then May God be with you in your future hair raising experience.

  4. 4 NotGood
    December 8, 2009 at 1:20 pm

    @Blind: Having an abnormally big head,(The only shades which would fit me, if at all perfectly, are found on the roadside, and costs less than 200/- The last time my sis bought a cap for me, she had to try it on a basketball to make sure it fits.) I was overwhelmed to find a Pepe cap which fitted me. So, between that and an over-worn skull cap, I have nothing to hide my “Laklawh” locks. And hell, I’ve even wanted to grow facial hair, but haven’t been blessed abundantly in that department.
    My sidelocks stop where why ears start and I have few strands of hair for a goatee. I can’t grow a moustache cos’ if I did, they look more like transplants from Salman Khan’s chest, thick, few and sparsely populated… oh well..

    @Aduhi: “I think that at a certain point in their lives every man wants to have long hair” TRUE.
    “(to see how it looks on them, to know how it feels to have hair brushing their shoulders)” TRUE.
    Well, having short hair has its advantages. As Beyonce rightly put it, “I’d roll out of bed in the morning And throw on what I wanted..”
    But with long hair it’d be more like “I’d roll out of bed in the morning and throw on what I wanted, and check my hair in the mirror, make sure its ruffled to the exact degree so as to not look messy, but with a nicely just-got-out-of-bed look, and not too neat either.. etc etc”

    @g: Welcome back to the Blogosphere, a word a bit too over-utilised.
    Firstly, thanks for the compliments, and growing hair, though seemingly mundane, is actually very relaxing and takes no effort at all. [Types in 😛 on the keyboard]
    Secondly, I’m simply trying to get with the latest in EMO fashion. In fact, I would probably be the first and only over-aged, over-weight and balding EMO ever to face midlife crisis. [Types Muahaha! on the keyboard]
    BTW: Hope the chaos that lately is Hyderabad hasn’t affected the Hyd. Univ. students, and others for that matter, including the commenter above yours. Keep safe.

  5. 5 Jerusha
    December 9, 2009 at 3:18 pm

    hahah I think what this post calls for are subsequent pictoral posts to keep your readers aware of your progress 🙂 Anyway, good luck. May your hair go forth and sprout in abundance! 🙂

  6. 6 dr_feelgood
    December 14, 2009 at 12:09 pm

    ‘Let it grow, Let it grow
    Let it blossom, let it flow’

    My favourite Clapton song. 🙂

  7. 7 NotGood
    December 19, 2009 at 5:59 am

    @Jerusha: Good idea.. I haven’t posted any pictures in a while and I guess this would be a good time to post one. And thanks for the good wishes, specially the “abundance” part! 😀

    @dr_feelgood: Welcome to the blog! (If this is not your first time, please ignore the pleasantries!) You are now one of the handful of people who visit this blog, handful because you can count them on your fingers, although some of them arrive by accident and are never seen or heard from again. 😛
    Eric was talking about Love when he wrote that, but replace LOVE with HAIR and it totally gives a new meaning to the song:

    In the sun, the rain, the snow
    Hair is lovely, let it grow.. indeed!

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