I’ve been growing my hair for the past few months now, just to change my look, save the salon money for beer, and mainly to cover the male pattern baldness that has developed over the years. I’ve tried a close crop of the hair, but the bald patches stand out like a drunk Mika in the middle of a rap battle, not that I have anything against colorful people, I just think they’re.. queer! hehe.. So, longer locks it is!
One thing I’ve noticed is that the longer a guys hair grows, the more bothered he is with it, although he may not act like it. You don’t see short-haired guys spending more than a brief moment in front of the mirror, mostly to check if there’s any stands peeking from the nostrils or ears or wherever visible.
For longer haired beings, the mirror slowly becomes our best friend. We make fun of girls taking time in front of the mirror, but I dare you, guy, grow yours long and let me know if you spend less than a minute each day in front of the mirror. Sure, long-haired guys may be a bit out of the ordinary, fascinating at first, but there’s nothing worse than a guy with long, unkempt, filthy hair.. of course, dreadlocks are an exception, at least one has to put some effort into it.
Wherever you go, you start noticing mirrors where you’ve never even seen one before. And you just have to admire your reflection, making a few adjustments here and some there. Sure, you’re probably starting to finally get in touch with your feminine side, but girls dig that, right? Or is that so yesterday? Sometimes being a bit geeky has its disadvantages….. oh well. Here’s what I think:
From the graph, one can clearly see that Girls spend as much time grooming behind closed doors, no matter how long or short their hair may be. They may be as bald as a friggin’ chihuahua, but they would spend exactly the same time as they would if they had hair the length which would put Rapunzel to shame.
On the other hand, the longer a guys hair, the more time he would spend combing, brushing and applying thick measures of cream and what not. You’d be surprised how much a guy would be willing to spend on hair products, but thats another graph altogether. 😛
You can see that the graph for guys increases almost exponentially by the end. This would mean that for every cm of hair growth, guys will spend twice as much time grooming. This phenomenon is the saturation point. Beyond this point, a guy would either spend endless amounts of time in front of the mirror, or simply go berserk, which is clearly evident from some Hindu Sadhus and Death Metal bands. Guys can’t simply handle long hair. Period. R-E-S-P-E-C-T to girls.
At one point, both the lines intersect, and the Guys actually surpass the Girls in “Time Spent Grooming”. Now this is the point where you would want to throw down your brushes, smash your hair products and get a hair cut. Because beyond this point, you’re slowly making your transition from the XX to XY chromosome (Wait.. I think it’s the other way round, I’m no Bio student, but Google makes me so.) And that’s not cool.
This is the 2nd time in my whole life I’ve grown my hair beyond the normal GUY-length, the earlier time was a disaster, as some of my acquaintances would attest fervently to. But this time, away from their ridicule and advice, I will unfurl my locks on Christmas and that will be worth blogging. Until then, grow, hair, grow your friggin’ roots off (But please don’t fall)!