09
Oct
09

Slasher bash

I watched a 2009 remake of Friday the 13th the other night. Not great. (This post was created while watching the movie, minimised in one corner of the screen). I guess the movie would’ve fared much better had it been released.. maybe.. 10 years back. The thing with Thriller/Slasher movies is that the not-so-vast library of formulae has been totally depleted. I mean, most of them show the same thing over and over and over again, only difference being some more gory than the next.
I’ve watched my share of gory movies, the list being SAW, The hills have eyes, Texas Chainsaw massacre, Wrong turn, Halloween, Friday the 13th, Nightmare on Elm street, I know what you did last summer, Final Destination, Urban legend, Turistas etc etc.. and a couple of Japanese Hard-core-gore.. and in most of the movies, the first couple to have sex die the earliest, probably a couple of B-grade actors trying to gain fame by showing some more skin than others (But we know that that does not work anymore in Hollywood, maybe in Bollywood, but definitely not in Hollywood!)
In the original versions of these movies, there was just the killer slashing his way through the victims, but lately, with the “revised” movies, they try to show their “humane” side, like that was possible. The stress is on making the audience empathize with the killer, about how a tragic incident left him no choice but to kill people! Bullshit! Killers kill because they can (Not because when they were young, they saw someone close to them being murdered or something.), and thats what makes them scary, cos’ they massacre for the love of it. Thats why the ring was so great, the ghost just loved killing people.
Anyway, after the first murder, there’s always a misunderstanding between the group, parting ways and eventually one of the group would come across the killer and be killed! D-uh! Sometimes, its just plain frustrating to watch these movies because they are so damn predictable, with their false scares and stuff. No wonder they do so badly at the Box Office.
The movie always involves a couple of guys with hot chicks, never your normal-looking girl/boy-next-door people. And the hotter and hornier they are, the less time they survive. That’s a fact. If you don’t believe me, try watching them all, and don’t blame me for screwing up the suspense.
Maybe the reason these movies suck is because we’ve seen too many of them, that slash and gore is nothing new. I mean, watch Turistas, there’s a scene where a guy chops off another man’s fingers cos’ he was simply trying to defend himself. Then there’s the scene in SAW where the actor had to “SAW” off his legs to free himself from the cuffs. How in the world would anybody top that?
Then theres those Japanese flicks, gory to the core. If you’ve watched “Battle Royale”, you would know what i’m talking about. Its the story of a class of students stranded in an island with mini-bombs on their necks which were timed to go off in 3 days. If there were more than 1 survivor, the bomb would go off anyway after 3 days, so they’ve gotta start killing others, whether they like it or not. There were some who did, and some who didn’t, and some who didn’t want to, but did anyway. Great concept. Japanese child actors kicks ass, literally and metaphorically.

friday_the_13th_movie_posterI watched a 2009 remake of Friday the 13th the other night. Not great. (This post was created while watching the movie, minimised in one corner of the screen). I guess the movie would’ve fared much better had it been released.. maybe.. 10 years back. The thing with Thriller/Slasher movies is that the not-so-vast library of formulae has been totally depleted. I mean, most of them show the same thing over and over and over again, only difference being some more gory than the next.

I’ve watched my share of gory movies, SAW, The hills have eyes, Texas Chainsaw massacre, Wrong turn, Halloween, Friday the 13th, Nightmare on Elm street, I know what you did last summer, Final Destination, Urban legend, Turistas etc etc.. those by Wes Craven, Rob Zombie, Tarantino and a couple of Japanese Hard-core-gore.. and in most of the movies, the first couple to have sex die the earliest, probably a couple of B-grade actors trying to gain fame by showing some more skin than others (But we know that that does not work anymore in Hollywood, maybe in Bollywood, but definitely not in Hollywood!)

In the original versions of these movies, there was just the killer slashing his way through the victims, and we loved to hate them.  But lately, with the “revised” movies, they try to show their “humane” side, like that was possible. The stress is on making the audience empathize with the killer, about how a tragic incident left him no choice but to kill people! Bullshit! Killers kill because they can, not because when they were born deformed/had an accident which made them deformed/due to the effects of radiation became cannibals/had serious father or mother issues/saw someone close to them being murdered etc etc.. and thats what makes them scary, cos’ they massacred for the love of it. Thats why the ring was so great, the ghost just loved killing people. Period.

Anyway, after the first murder, there’s always a misunderstanding between the group, parting ways and eventually one of the group would come across the killer and be killed! D-uh! Sometimes, its just plain frustrating to watch these movies because they are so damn predictable, with their false scares and stuff. No wonder they do so badly at the Box Office. And when if at all the actors would be interviewed, they would be like “Ohh.. I loved the script.. it was totally original.. blahblahcrap..”

The movie always involves a couple of guys with hot chicks, never your normal-looking girl/boy-next-door people. And the hotter and hornier they are, the less time they survive. That’s a fact. If you don’t believe me, try watching them all, and don’t blame me for screwing up the suspense. It always works.

battle_royaleMaybe the reason these movies suck is because we’ve seen too many of them, that slash and gore is nothing new. I mean, watch Turistas, there’s a scene where a guy chops off another man’s fingers cos’ he was simply trying to defend himself. Then there’s the scene in SAW where the actor had to “SAW” off his legs to free himself from the cuffs. How in the world would anybody top that? (In fact, the only way to top that is REAL LIFE stuff.. that’s probably why reality TV is so damn popular.)

Then theres those Japanese flicks, gory to the core. If you’ve watched “Battle Royale”, you would know what i’m talking about. Its the story of a class of students stranded in an island with mini-bombs on their necks which were timed to go off in 3 days. If there were more than 1 survivor, the bomb would go off anyway after 3 days, so they’ve gotta start killing others, whether they like it or not. There were some who did, and some who didn’t, and some who didn’t want to, but did anyway. Great concept. Japanese child actors kicks ass, literally and metaphorically.

Anyway, gore is sometimes refreshing. Its more like porn in the sense that they leave little for the imagination. It’s all there. And when you really want to watch something thats all extreme, real, bad-ass, blood-curling, hair-raising, heart-pounding, sweat-inducing, then turn on your news channel.🙂


16 Responses to “Slasher bash”


  1. October 10, 2009 at 12:58 am

    lmao blackest, maybe you should *make one now! the first mizo slasher flick. hmm? sounds like fame and fortune! the only gory (well, sorta, remember the human fat?) movie i’ve enjoyed was fight club. but battle royale sounds interesting, will check it out.

  2. October 10, 2009 at 3:34 am

    I’m not a fan of slasher movies, but I think Saw was great, I mean the genius of it. And then Scary Movie came and spoiled it all.

  3. 3 ruolngulworld
    October 10, 2009 at 9:25 am

    haven’t watched a horror movie in a long time. the ring was probably the last i watched. but i remember the omen and its sequels as well as the exorcist which i watched with my wife (then gf). it was a dark stormy night (as they say) and i still remember looking over my shoulder and jumping at every sound on my way back after dropping her home……

  4. October 10, 2009 at 7:59 pm

    Been a while since I watched a movie, never mind a slasher/horror one. I like subtlety in most everything in general and the subtlest I can remember was Silence of the Lambs. Nothing graphic actually shown but brrrrr. Definitely had me scared stiffer than maniacs lurching around drunkenly wielding axes and stuff.

  5. 5 Mos-a
    October 11, 2009 at 9:13 pm

    . hah i knows exactly what you mean.. the killer usually is the last person you’d suspect..unlss it is made very obvious in the beginning.. if the killer is wearing a mask then expect it to be the heroine’s uncle or gardener or something.
    one slasher (it aint technically a slasher movie but its close enough) movie i enjoyed a lot was Rob Zombie’s The Devil’s Rejects. There is an awesome scene where a truck runs over a lady. awesome roadkill.

    jus like J i like my horror to be more subtle such as Rosemary’s Baby or the Original Japanese version of the Grudge – Ju On .

  6. 6 NotGood
    October 14, 2009 at 7:35 pm

    @Baruk: I’ve indeed been thinking about making/writing/conceptualizing a slasher-type flick.. I mean, the biggest mistake in some of these movies is to introduce the killer/ghost too early in the movie.. cos’ once you can’t see what you fear, that’s even more scary.. right?

  7. 7 NotGood
    October 14, 2009 at 7:39 pm

    @Aduhi: SAW was simply a gore-lovers delight.. “Genius” may not even begin to describe the genius of it..😛 You ain’t seen gore till you’ve seen SAW.

  8. 8 NotGood
    October 14, 2009 at 7:57 pm

    @Ruolngul: Watching a horror flick with your GF (now Wife) is simply classic.. but whats priceless is getting scared by the same movie. LOL. The most scary scene i still remember from Exorcist was when that lady walked upside-down(or something) on the stairs. still gives me the shivers just thinking about it.

    @Calliopia: First time I watched “Silence of..” was when it came on StarMovies in one of those late-night shows and the whole house had slept. and just after the scene where Hannibal escapes, the lights went out.. scary as hell..

    @Mos: Haven’t watched Devil’s Rejects, but definitely on my list.. I like my horror movies with a little bit of humor, like the famous Evil Dead series, not so much on the eerie side.. creeps me out.😛

  9. October 15, 2009 at 11:31 am

    Im not a slasher fan, but I’ve seen all the slasher flicks you mentioned. As for being a fan, I am a zombie fan. Hardcore zombie fan. hehehehe…. those are horrifying.

  10. October 21, 2009 at 11:16 am

    me wants to watch Battle Royale very much…reading your short description of the film reminds me of a book im yet to read .. Lord of the Flies [1954]… seem to have same elements..boys..deserted island.. killing each other..

  11. 11 NotGood
    October 22, 2009 at 2:09 pm

    @Kima: You dont have to be a fan to watch slasher movies, they are simply too awesome. As for Zombie movies, they are all the same too, although the comedic ones are better, like Shaun of the Dead.. loved it.

    @Blind Dayze: Touche’, I’d like to get my hands on that novel.. wondered if they made a movie out of it. hmm.. Where’s my Google!

  12. October 23, 2009 at 11:20 am

    lord of the flies was a brilliant read. did i mention brilliant? for best effects, read it at one setting. the 1963 movie is total crap, haven’t watched the 1990 adaptation.

  13. 13 mesjay
    October 30, 2009 at 10:23 am

    hmm,sounds horrific and obscene. i have no stomach for anything scarier than The Sound of Music, hehehe!

  14. 14 NotGood
    November 5, 2009 at 4:34 pm

    @Fed: Haven’t been able to get the book yet, it’s no fun reading a PDF file off the monitor. I’ll take your word for it, i’m definitely on the hunt now.

    @mesjay: I remembered Sound of Music being pretty scary cos’ the last time I watched was when I was a kid, didn’t remember much tho’ but the soldiers-chasing-the-protagonists scene is still pretty scary in my mind.

  15. November 5, 2009 at 9:23 pm

    LOL just had to butt back in after reading mesjay’s input.

    Plus I actually had Lord of the Flies as part of my modern lit course, both as student and teacher. It’s a study of the inherent evil in human nature – the Original Sin theme you could call it. Even little boys eventually kill, kill, kill despite living on a desert island with no exposure to the wicked ways of adults or horror movies/ books/computor games hehehe. I watched the 1990 adaptation but after having studied all the deeper nuances of it, I was pretty disappointed though my sister and Mum enjoyed it a lot.

  16. 16 NotGood
    November 6, 2009 at 11:23 am

    @Call: Now that sounds more gory than I had earlier thought. A bunch of boys isolated from the rest of the world still managing to find and nurture the “inherent evil in human nature”.. That’s real cold.. There can be no Good without Evil indeed, and not the other way round.


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