(My first attempt at poetry, so criticize away.. but gently, please 🙂 )
I woke up one morning to find
I could see through the world’s facade
Of happiness, joy and self-reliance
Hiding the insecurities, loneliness beneath.
It was utterly horrible and scary to see
The ugliness, hatred and envy lurking
Under the surface, a calm blue sea.
I thought if each had the power alike
Would it shatter the bonds we’ve known to love?
Would it divert the wars beyond our borders
And rather start within our own?
Would it overthrow the leaders we’ve chosen
To keep the ones we scorn in rule?
Would it teach us to love the ones we hate
Or compel us to hate the ones we love?
And I woke up the morning to find
Everything was back to normal, Thank God!
Not bad for a first attempt. I’m relieved you didn’t try that hideously childish and outdated rhyming. While poetry’s not so much about the language used as the thoughts expressed, it’s always a good idea to find the precise word. Which is why “It was utterly horrible and scary to see…” makes me uhh cringe. Still, a promising first outing 🙂
this is amazing!!no seriously i could never write stuff like this..i admire your style of writing and i believe poems are whatever we write ukno, it doesnt have to be ‘perfect’ or have rhymes all the time. i love poetry that talks about one self and one’s dark and evil thoughts… just love them..lol.
anyways i must say you are one of the best mizo blogger that we have read…keep up the good job.
btw i intend to find out who you are!
be very afraid..
@ Callopia.. I know the line was lame, but I was at loss for words.. literally. and I had the next line already. I guess that was the best line i could think of at the time.. hehe, but great to know you went through it..
@ Andy.. nice view, and yes.. love is the only thing that is holding the strands of humanity together.. if not for love, the world is not worth living in.
@gkhiangte.. Thanks for the compliments, you are too kind. 🙂 I like to think that a song is simply a poem which rhymes.. Im sure andy would know that better, his poems are good enough for making great and soulful music.. And i sure hope you wont know me even if you do find out.. *shudders*
red, my nick’s Call-i-opia. From one of the nine Muses in Greek mythology. I believe she was the muse of poetry. When I started out my blog, I’d meant to just throw in all my fav lines of other ppl’s poetry and song lyrics and stuff. As it turned out, I churn out my thoughts in prose. C’est la vie
Dude, I have to disagree. This is not your first attempt at poetry. Remember in class 8 when Sir Fabian-a asked us to write a poetry about ‘anything you see from the terrace’. I recall yours to be quite John Keats-esqe…
@ Callopia.. Things never turn out the way you would want them, and as adults, thats what we learn to accept and compromise on.. I wanted my blog to be about just what I feel and what I wanna say, but when others started reading my blog, I sometimes have to stop and think about what I’m about to write.
@ Chham.. Guess i don’t remember that one much.. Most of my past compositions are privy.. but I do remember the time he translated an english poem in french.. or was it the other way round? Not that anyone in the class would’ve given a flying ball of crap!
Hmm, very cognitive post.
Is this theme good unough for the Digg?