When you are on the wrong side of Twenty-five, you tend to think about a lot of things which, uptil now, were irrelevant. For instance, where the hell am I and where am I heading? Is this it? Is it going to get any better than this?.. and so on. Life was so simple back then, when all we worried about was whether we would have power-cuts on a saturday lest we miss our Video game time on the good-ol’ Nintendo, 8-bits of pure and childish ecstasy, or when the 3rd term exams were getting over and the Christmas holidays start! Those were the days which we would never live again, except in memories.
As one ages along the years, priorities change and compromising starts. In childhood, we either get what we want, or we don’t. When we’re adults, we can get what we want, as long as we want it bad enough. As kids, events were the most important part of our lives. The birthdays, the picnics, the vacations and the dreaded start-of-school day and exam-day, although the Result-day would always matter for the rest of our lives. We would celebrate a result, good or bad, by going to the famous Queen’s Ice cream parlor for a treat, whereas now, a good result would probably land you up spending a small fortune for a trip to the local bar with friends.
As adults, more than events, we learn the importance of people and appreciate them. And people are so much more complicated than events. We learn to compromise in arguments to reach a neutral point, so that we may still have each other, cos’ everyone’s afraid of being alone. Being an adult is sometimes so lonely, and sometimes so intrusive in both the extremes.
When we were in 2nd yr, we had a resolution postered on our wall. It read:
We Will Join The Gym:
1. To get a body
2. To get a girl
3. To get laid (In small print)
That was all we wanted back then. Now, as we got older and grew apart, nothing really mattered.
I guess with age comes wisdom, and that’s scary. I used to think age was just a number, and you are only as young as you think you are, but now I’m not so sure. All i care about now are the people who mattered. I’ve been out of Mizoram for the past 13 years, only spending a month or so back home when I get vacations, and now I realised that it’s taken a toll on me, for better or for worse, who knows. I’ve lost touch with relatives whom I used to know so well growing up. Names are easily forgotten with time, faces take a bit longer, and you feel like a stranger in your own home. And it just keeps getting worse.
I’ve lost near and dear ones while away, and it pains me that I will never see their faces again. I try hard to recollect the last strands of memories I’ve had with them, but it’s not going to be enough, ever. I lost my Grampa the day I was to leave for home, I felt so helpless and afraid, afraid because I know that this was not the end. He was critical, no doubt, but all I wanted was to see him one last time before he parted from this world onto the next. Life sucks sometimes. But in the darkness, I discovered something new and different when I reached home.
Being away from each other for so long, it was one of the few times our little group of friends all made it for the holidays. We were all the same, yet different in our own ways. We had grown up and matured, we had seen and experienced the world and observed it from our own perspectives. Our discussions were different, our personal values had changed. It was one of the best Holidays I’ve had for a really long time, and it was fun.
I really can’t reach a conclusion to this post, but to sum it up, I guess with adulthood comes a great power of independence, and with great power comes great reponsibility !
Happy Holidays !