Get the smoke out

Last Sunday night, as I laid down for the night, I started thinking about stuff to try and get me to sleep, but all I could think of was about cigarettes and how much they have affected my life. I woke up Monday morning and read GoldiBlog before work, and that kinda inspired me a lot to try and quit smoking.

I would always say b**s** when a colleague tells me he quit smoking, or is planning to, and it gave me all the more reason to pull his leg. It had always been a joke to me when I hear stuff like that in the office or over the phone. And maybe it was partly because of such attitude they received from people like me that they would always start again. I’m not looking for support, but I’m not looking for temptations either.

Quitting smoking is something that I’ve always wanted to do, but I’ve always put it off for later, maybe for when I get older. Since I’ve become a regular smoker, I’ve never once tried to quit it, simply because I never wanted to. I convinced myself that I don’t smoke as BAD as other people I know, cos’ I was only smoking a pack of 10 a day, while people smoked a pack of 20 in less. It was feeble reassurance, but it did it’s job.

But heavy smoker or not, it slowly affected my health in ways described in detail by Goldbum himself, so I will not go there. But where I WILL go, is an experiment on me. So here it is:

AIM:

To quit smoking, or reduce the frequency drastically to a point where I am no longer considered a smoker by my closest friends. (They are quite the critics in such matters!)

MATERIALS REQUIRED:

1 smoker desperate/bored/<describe yourself in one word> enough to make a lifestyle change.

1 Cigarette for each day

Time and Perseverance

Determination and willingness

<More to be added as and when required by the smoker>

THEORY:

- If I am allowed to have just and only 1 cigarette a day, and I can choose the time, it will eventually be something I look forward to everyday. I will savor that one cigarette, and realise that if I cheat and have another before the day is over, it will never taste as good as that. Smoking a cig and not enjoying it has been what I have been doing all this time and this is to change that.

- As days passes, the urge to smoke would be more difficult to resist. Thats when I will need large amounts of Determination and willingness, without which I will not pass beyond the phase. At this point, I guess the only thing that would keep me going would be the pure ecstasy in that puff from my daily dose of nicotine.

- The next part of the theory is a little vague, for it is difficult to determine as to how long it would take me to get used to the routine. But once accomplished, it would enable me to stretch it to once in 2 days and so on.

- I know this theory may suck, but it’s the best one I’ve got at the moment. I desperately need to setup some ground rules.

OBSTACLES:

- This is my first attempt. So I know I will either go all the way, or reach beyond the half-point only to crash and burn in Mono-oxidic pleasure.

- The second attempt will definitely not follow soon.

- Its definitely easier said that done, but it’s possible, at least I’ve got to believe that.

- I had one smoke today in the evening, and it felt like the first tryst, the tingling, etc. but now as I type this, I have a feeling that I’m not doing something which I usually do, I mean, it made me understand that it had (Past tense.. tralala) become such a habit I sometimes unconciously lit one and finished it even before I realised I’d done it.

- So technically I may not be quitting smoking, but this will be my way of dealing with it. I’m not really worried about withdrawal symptoms, as I will at least have one smoke a day, and with India’s pollution levels, that’s probably less harmful than being a Traffic cop for a day.

PERSONAL GUIDELINES:

- Finish the smoke at one go, not saving it for 2,3,4,5 or 6 gos go’s goes instances of smoking. (Never met another who went more than that!)

- One day at a time. If one day is too long, go with Morning, Noon and Night, or Hour by Hour, or Minute by Minute. Last for one timeframe, then last the next one, then the next.

- Judge and rate my urges based on the scenario.

Need-a-smoke-while-going-to-the-loo-urge : Low

Had-a-fight-with-my-boss-and-now-need-a-smoke-urge : Medium

Just-had-pork-for-dinner-and-need-a-smoke-urge : High

Cute-girl-in-smoking-zone-asking-for-a-light-and-now-need-to-show-her-I-smoke-too-urge : Way-up-there Critical!!

- Save the smoke for the evening, and if I am able to save till bedtime, savor one right before hitting the sack for a sweet dream.

OBSERVATIONS (So far):

- I know it supercalifragilisticexpialidociously early to make observations, but unless I type something I’m afraid I might light one up. (I haven’t thrown away my ashtrays and lighters as most “Quit smoking” guides suggested be done first. Why?? It’s just too early I guess.)

- So the whole day, I didn’t really feel the urge, cos’ I know I smoked enough over the weekend to bring me a few hours closer to death.

- Its funny when you tell people, mostly your smoking partners, that you’ve quit or trying to quit. The first emotion they display is of utter disbelief, then denial, then doubt, then a short hint of pity followed immediately by words of encouragement and support for your cause. Its true. Try it out.

- Its about exactly 24 hrs since I had my last smoke, after which I decided I will have one smoke a day, after which I had a smoke, so, to be precise, its probably 9 hours since I had my last smoke and I’m a mess.

- But, tomorrow will bring a duller day, my only saving grace being that one cigarette I have always Loved to Hate.

- I feel like I am being saved by the Cigarette, before it will kill me… more observations to follow hopefully…

Back online

A lot has happened since my being back from Hyderabad. Here are some of the events that has transpired..

HYDERABAD

As I got off the bus, I took an auto to the Hyderabad Univ. where my sisters were staying. The auto-wallah took his time getting there and asked for an extra 50/- on reaching. There was a student on the lawn and he came to help with the haggling. I half-expected a few expletives and abuses hurled around, but they were quite calm, and at the end the driver left without shaking his fists in the air, making me feel that I should’ve parted with the 50/-, it was worth it coming from a place where such incidences are less common than Indian sportsmen with manly voices.

Anyway, the city was boiling, but enough about the heat. I would love to get back there, maybe after the monsoon. The city is comparitively massive to Pune, which would be like one locality.

Fortunately, the night I reached was a popular blogger’s B’day, so we celebrated with fresh Vawksa-rep (Smoked-pork doesn’t quite describe the beauty and sentiments attached) from Home. My mouth still waters thinking about it. I celebrated a Bday with people I hardly knew, yet were so friendly, at a place I’ve been to for the first time, and ate Vawksa-rep!! Who’d da thunk it??

The last day I was there, we spent the whole day in Prasad’s to beat the heat. We watched “Alien’s Vs. Monsters” cos’ it was the only one showing on IMax, haven’t been to any, so it was a great experince. Wished we had something like that back home.

My journey back to Pune was ok. Technically the journey, they say, takes 12 hrs, but had it not been for the stupid delays enroute, we’ve would’ve reached in less than 10… oh well..

MY INTERNET

I had taken a Reliance Netconnect which is kinda like an USB device which they promised would provide 3.1 Mbps connection, and the reason I took it was cos’ it was portable, what with my temporary accommodation and stuff, I figured it would be simplier when I shifted. I took the 1099/- p.m Plan where they promised 10Gb free download limit per month.

Two weeks later, my connection was stopped and on enquiring, they said I had an outstanding balance of 4500/-. They said since I had taken the connection on 16th May, I was only to get 2Gb of free download and I had downloaded well over 4Gb thinking I had the whole 10Gb free.

A lot of calls to the Service Center and arguments with agents and their supervisors ensued. Their argument was that I was to receive a call (Which I didn’t) on activation of the account where an agent would inform me about the schemes. Seems Their 10Gb was distributed, like in a day, I had only 10gb/30 days of download free (You do the math). I lodged 2 complaints about the whole fiasco and had half-given up, deciding to take a new connection only after shifting the flat.

They called me up today, reminding me that my bill was due. I was almost going to start a new session of arguments when the agent said my complaints had been considered, and the amount had been waived off. So in the end, all I had to pay was 340/-. I ran to the nearest Reliance World and the bill-paying process took exactly 2 mins and the internet was active again as soon as I got home. Justice!! Dirubhai Ambani must be turning in his grave, or urn or something.

MY STUPID PAY

I didn’t get paid last month. The reason was that one was obligated to serve a notice period of 1 month to his company prior to his leaving. I served 4 days. So they said with the new rule and stuff, they will give me a cheque after 45 days of leaving the company which would also include my encashed leaves amount.. etc etc.. So, for the first time in 2 years, I’m broke this month. And the least reassuring part is that it still sucks to be broke. Things haven’t changed much in broke-back mountain.

The worst part was that I had to pay my old company for the days which I haven’t served the notice period for, that would be 26 days. And that was it! I paid my rent on Baaki/Udhaar/borrowed money. I hate borrowing cash. Period. But I don’t have a choice… oh well…

The only good part is that Im back online and I can rave and rant as much as I wanted about all this crap instead of having to contain it within myself.. and THAT’S why I blog!!

19 days for pay!

Update!

This is my first post in more than a week. I’ve been relaxing at home doing pretty much nothing. Today, I will be leaving for India’s IT Capital, Hyderabad. My sister came down for admissions and since I’m doing pretty much nothing here, might as well meet them up and do nothing there.

I’ll take some pics and try to post as soon as I get back, if not earlier. I gotta be back by the weekend, so I won’t be staying there long. I haven’t been to South India much, so this is a good opportunity as well, to eat some Dum Briyani and well-fed chicken meat, which we don’t usually get here.

Safe journey and have a great trip to me!

My First Post

I had always wanted to start a blog when it first came out, but i never had the time or the material to kick-start it with, what with college and everything. Lately i’ve been inspired once again with renewed energy, and now here it is. I guess with maturity comes the need to express oneself and the thirst for creativity in a fast-paced, monotonous corporate kingdom. 

Our lives, as we know it, is spiralling towards the inevitable death, but what we do in between defines who we are. And i just want to put my experiences, feelings, thoughts and everything else online so that at least, someone, somewhere out there in the vast virtual world would relate to it, and utter at least a “Hmm…” if not “Amen to that!”

Having said that… I now proclaim my blog.. open to public !!